Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Whats the difference (similarity) between drug dealers and Software developers?

Drug dealers:
Refer to their clients as "users".
"The first one's free!"
Have important South-East Asian connections (to help move the stuff).
Strange jargon: "Stick", "Rock", "Dime bag," "E".
Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, more potent mixes.
Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers.
Their product causes unhealthy addictions.
Do your job well, and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.

Software developers:
Refer to their clients as "users".
"Download a free trial version...".
Have important South-East Asian connections (to help debug the code).
Strange jargon: "SCSI", "ISDN", "Java", "RTFM".
Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, faster machines.
Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists.
Their product causes unhealthy addictions - DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D.





Sunday, 2 April 2017

Jesus was White - Proven

Jesus is said to be without sin.
So, sin(Jesus) = 0;
So, tan(Jesus) = sin(Jesus)/cos(Jesus) = 0/cos(Jesus) = 0;
So Jesus has 0 tan, so he must have been white.

Saturday, 1 April 2017

Don't mess with Programmers...

A Geologist and an engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The Geologist leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Geologist persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5." Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Geologist now somewhat agitated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"
This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Geologist asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the moon?"
The Engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Geologist.
Now, it's the Engineer's turn. He asks the Geologist, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?" The Geologist looks up at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail.
After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50. The Engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.
The Geologist is more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks, "Well, so what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Geologist $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.